Saturday, April 9, 2016

The Witch (Movie Review)

Release Date: February 19, 2016
Genre: Horror
In 1630 New England, panic and despair envelops a farmer (Ralph Ineson), his wife (Kate Dickie) and four of their children when youngest son Samuel suddenly vanishes. The family blames Thomasin (Anya Taylor-Joy), the oldest daughter who was watching the boy at the time of his disappearance. With suspicion and paranoia mounting, twin siblings Mercy (Ellie Grainger) and Jonas (Lucas Dawson) suspect Thomasin of witchcraft, testing the clan's faith, loyalty and love to one another.

I have no idea what I watched. Absolutely no idea. This movie was a confusing second take on The Crucible and as the movie started to build up with momentum, it just dispersed. They did nothing with that crazy scary feeling. Like boom. Gone.

More or less, it didn't reach the horror movie requirement and didn't even reach the rules of a psychological thriller. Like I said, this movie was confusing as hell as we watched on how this family took on the crazy mindsets of their family.

As creepy as the atmosphere was, I didn't understand half the things that they were saying. But there were things I learned:

1. Black Male Goats = Lucifer
2. Creepy children is a no no
3. Don't pray towards the woods
4. Don't joke about the book of Satan
5. Don't ask the goat to talk to you
6. Never again eat apples.

That's just the gist of the things that could go wrong during this movie. There were disgusting hints of insanity that happened way back when and as great as the storyline was, they botched the movie. They botched it. There were only a few jump scares and regardless of how everyone is saying that this movie was deliciously scary and created... I couldn't and I mean it, could not disagree anymore.

I am disappointed that I did pay the money for this movie. It was a rip off and the failed recreation of The Crucible. So with a rating of 2 out of 5 stars and a warning that if you love horror movies like I do, this movie is not for you. It was not created for our benefit. 

If you guys do go watch the movie, "tell meh" what you thought about the movie in the comments below.

Blog you later, awesome nerds.

No comments:

Post a Comment