When the Bough Breaks (Movie Review)

Release Date: September 9, 2016

Genre: Thriller

Synopsis: A surrogate mom for a couple becomes dangerously obsessed with the soon-to-be father.

Literally... That's the blurb that I found for this movie. I am going to say this here and now. DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME WATCHING THIS MOVIE. 

How it doesn't capture your attention and when it does, it just deflates yet again towards the supposed climax. 

Let's let that sink in.

"A surrogate mom for a couple becomes dangerously obsessed wit the soon-to-be father." WOW. Thank you for telling me the whole movie in one sentence. I really thought this movie would be better but the trailer was the whole movie. The blurb was the whole damn movie. 

Why waste your time when you know what it's about? 

Now a letter to the character of Anna:

Dear Anna,

Please stop being this obsessed and whiny girl who is a vindictive little person.

Why can't you let the happy couple be a happy couple? 

Because you didn't have a happy childhood, right?

"Feel me, John." Like dude, if he wanted to feel you, he would. BUT NO. He has his wife and is damn happy with her until you started wreaking havoc. 

It's not even your child.

Sincerely,

Everyone who wasted their time (other than getting caught up in sleep).

Predator - Michelle Horst

Published Date: April 29, 2016

Genre: Romance/Suspense

Synopsis: All my life I’ve been hiding, until there is no corner on this god-forsaken earth left for me to hide. I have to pay for the sins of my father. No one with Ellison blood in their veins is allowed to live, and I am the last of my bloodline. 

I am kept in a container waiting for my death sentence to be carried out, when he comes. He is only known as ‘Predator’. No one knows who he works for, only that he leaves no one alive.
His every breath is filled with the last gasp of his dying prey.
But for some reason he doesn’t kill me.
I don’t know which is worse, the death sentence hanging over my head, or being at his mercy.

HOLY CRAP!

I did not know this book was going to be this great. So sexy. So brilliant. 

All her life, she has been hiding but from what... 

Predator or savior? 

He is on his way but will he save the girl that is to pay her life for her family's sins? 

LOVED, LOVED, LOVED Predator because not only was it this psychological twist, it was just an amazing story. 

4.7 out of 5 stars.

Blog you later, awesome book nerds.

The Witch (Movie Review)

Release Date: February 19, 2016

Genre: Horror

Synopsis: 
In 1630 New England, panic and despair envelops a farmer (Ralph Ineson), his wife (Kate Dickie) and four of their children when youngest son Samuel suddenly vanishes. The family blames Thomasin (Anya Taylor-Joy), the oldest daughter who was watching the boy at the time of his disappearance. With suspicion and paranoia mounting, twin siblings Mercy (Ellie Grainger) and Jonas (Lucas Dawson) suspect Thomasin of witchcraft, testing the clan's faith, loyalty and love to one another.

I have no idea what I watched. Absolutely no idea. This movie was a confusing second take on The Crucible and as the movie started to build up with momentum, it just dispersed. They did nothing with that crazy scary feeling. Like boom. Gone.

More or less, it didn't reach the horror movie requirement and didn't even reach the rules of a psychological thriller. Like I said, this movie was confusing as hell as we watched on how this family took on the crazy mindsets of their family.

As creepy as the atmosphere was, I didn't understand half the things that they were saying. But there were things I learned:

1. Black Male Goats = Lucifer

2. Creepy children is a no no

3. Don't pray towards the woods

4. Don't joke about the book of Satan

5. Don't ask the goat to talk to you

6. Never again eat apples.

That's just the gist of the things that could go wrong during this movie. There were disgusting hints of insanity that happened way back when and as great as the storyline was, they botched the movie. They botched it. There were only a few jump scares and regardless of how everyone is saying that this movie was deliciously scary and created... I couldn't and I mean it, could not disagree anymore.

I am disappointed that I did pay the money for this movie. It was a rip off and the failed recreation of The Crucible. So with a rating of 2 out of 5 stars and a warning that if you love horror movies like I do, this movie is not for you. It was not created for our benefit. 

If you guys do go watch the movie, "tell meh" what you thought about the movie in the comments below.

Blog you later, awesome nerds.